Kelvin sent me flowers. Yay, right? I like flowers. A lot. They smell quite nice and are pleasant to look at.

I called to thank him. We talked until he had to go eat.

He called back, but House was on, so I told him to call back when it was over. So he did. And we talked some more. 

I ended up ranting. About Micelle’s class. And how sometimes people make me so angry that it’s often difficult not to yell at them. Like with Mercedes, when she doesn’t know what’s going on and I get really bitchy, I want to be like, “Shut the hell up and pay some fucking attention every now and again or I’ll rip out your eyeballs and shove them up your fucking vagina.”

I love the girl. But it hurts me inside to have to tell her everything that’s going on. If I don’t, she keeps bugging me. I’m not very fond of being pestered.

Point being.

I freak out. On the phone. About things that really don’t matter. And I can’t get over them. And I reveal my violent urges to people who don’t always need to know about them just yet.

I would really rather not scare off my boyfriend. And I think that to him it’s probably a little frightening to hear your girlfriend saying such things. But when I’m angry, I’m angry. And that’s just how I get when I’m angry. I can’t hide that from him. Especially when I get as angry as I do as frequently as I do. But I think this may have been his first experience with my anger. I’m not sure if he’s ever seen/heard me like that, because I usually don’t keep track of who sees it and who doesn’t. So I don’t know if he’s seriously rethinking how much he wants to be in this relationship or not… but I sincerely hope I haven’t scarred him for the rest of eternity.